i certainly hasn't posted anything in awhile since i was completely absorbed by my temporary tough times. i was completely lost, no clues how to get home, and it was a long massive day to day battle and, it took me a couple months to be home, and now i'm home. and yes, i'm using the word 'and' too often in one paragraph. pardon me!
so today, is the first day of my revolution class, and not much of anything i can share with you. BUT! there is one thing that really got me in, truly. we were asked by Dr Mas, what is the toughest thought we used to have that affected us as a whole. i was stumped, recalling the thoughts that i have removed couple days ago.
'sometimes i feel like my sins are too great, too many, so i abandon my prayers.'
'sometimes i feel like my issues are too unbearable, so i abandon my loved ones.'
'sometimes i feel like i'm falling so behind in life race, so i stopped running.'
disgracefully yes, i used to have these thoughts in couple months ago (the worst was when i got to remove the thing). so Rabia asked me, what did i do to remove the negative thoughts?
'take a chill pill.' i answered proudly!
'who taught you that?' she asked.
i said, 'someone'. 'he taught me to chill in everything we are in.' i added.
she smiled. she seemed to know who is the he i mentioned.
and they all agreed.
they agreed that the word chill is a powerful word. then they asked me how did i apply the word chill in every of my actions. that was tough at first to tell people how i struggled to insert the word chill in my whole life after i had a so many months of temporary-miserable-times kind of life. alhamdulillah, i made it to deliver everything you taught me, everything i know with no pause. (extremely!)
the word chill really helped me throughout the tough times. and now i have one new stand in reinventing myself, if we want more pahala, then we do pahala things. we could possibly do by start dropping one sin a day, and picking one good deed a day. (sustain!) if we want to be loved, then we do right things. if we want to be at the top of the life race even we are at the bottom, we do never-loosing-the-us-in-us. well, reinventing (completely!) yourself doesn't work overnight. it is impossibly possible. miracles do exist, right?
thank you.
there is nothing more i enjoy than all of this.
thank you.
thank you.
there is nothing more i enjoy than all of this.
thank you.
all of my prayers for you.